It’s been a long time since I wrote my last article! But now is the time to begin again. A recent conversation inspired me to write about letting go and becoming who you are- specifically in relation to romantic relationships:

“You don’t have to name your lovers; you don’t have to name the cities that you’ll move to. You don’t have to figure that out. You just have to find the feeling place of what you’re looking for. And the Universe will lead you right there. And when you get there, you’ll say, ‘oh yeah, you’re exactly what I meant.’” Abraham

There are many sad songs written about the pain and heartbreak of love. But there’s something not quite right about this- as love and ‘heartbreak’ are about as far apart emotionally as you can get. Pain and love are opposites; love feels incredible and love is not dependent on what anyone else does. When you feel any kind of pain, it feels like something has gone wrong- and it has. The pain means that you are thinking thoughts which do not become you. And you have the choice to reach for better feeling thoughts (Even though sometimes it may not feel like you have such a choice).

The amount of songs out there describing the agony of missing someone is testament to just how confused people have got. Then there’s the soap operas and movies and other media which trains us into thoughts of how emotionally devastating relationships can be. In a world that values what is outside of us, and often the negative, this is not surprising. But it doesn’t have to be that way for you. Romantic relationships don’t need to hurt.

I remember meeting someone I thought was just incredible who was in the UK for a short visit and I found myself moving from the pure feelings of appreciation and love to thoughts of longing and missing. Despite my best intentions and despite what this person felt for me, I found myself ‘head over heels’ which was unusual for me. And so after the experience was over, I felt unloved and upset. Then I remembered, with a smile, a quote I once heard Marianne Williamson saying: If a train doesn’t stop, it’s not your train. And this is so true.

Our job is not trying to control the train, but rather to relax in an attitude of trust- allowing life to unfold in the wonderful way it is meant to for us. We are supposed to have a wonderful life and the perfect person for us will be there for us, with no stress or worrying or work needed from us. And at that moment, I had a choice. I could reach for the sad songs and despair about what had gone wrong- or I could appreciate my memories of this beautiful person and realise that all was well in this perfectly balanced Universe.

Everything is unfolding perfectly and Life is always on my side.

We often grab on to things; we try to hold on thinking that this particularly place or person or thing is the source of our happiness. But nothing outside of us is the source of our happiness. The material world is a reflection of our thoughts and it is like water; fluid and flowing; we cannot hold onto it. And holding onto it causes us pain.

Trust- All is a blessing in disguise

Do you believe that Life is on your side? If you did- you wouldn’t waste too much time on ‘what should have been, would have been or could have been’ because you know that everything is working out perfectly, despite your current perception. You think that he shouldn’t have left you? Well, yes he should… because he did. And in this perfectly balanced Universe, everything that happens, should happen. And it is not happening to you, it is happening for you; it’s all for your greater good.

Why is it that in hindsight we always look back and see that those painful events were a blessing in disguise? I am suggesting that we get to that attitude as quickly as possible.

Of course, give yourself a break. Accept where you are and try to relax into it. I am not suggesting that you immediately can springboard into absolute joy- but it will be quicker and easier than you perhaps think.

Surrender

“Don’t force anything. Let life be a deep let go.” Eilleen Caddy

The best thing we can do is to find away to surrender. Or, as many people say: ‘Let go and let God’. In this attitude, we will meet with the perfect people, places and things, experiences and careers, wellbeing and exciting adventures and wonderful opportunities that have been arranged for us. As the wonderful quote from Abraham expresses which opens this article, there’s nothing for us to figure out or select from or fixate upon. It’s just a gentle relax into the knowing that all is well; it’s about loosening up and giving up our struggle knowing that everything is working out for us.

If you are missing anyone or feeling lonely or not good enough remember that you are not the only one who has ever felt this way. Many of us have experienced what you are experiencing and have come through it. This too shall pass. The brightest sunrise always follows the darkest night and it is the same with whatever pain you may go through: In those moments of pain, you are sending out powerful requests for improvement and with the slightest distraction and relaxation, you will move into the Vortex (please see the previous article) and your life will be all the better thanks to this contrasting experience. You can do it. You are loved. All is well.

“You have only one task to accomplish. So you can take everything off your things-to-do-today list, you can stop trying to motivate your employees or please your family or console your lover or gather your resources. You can stop doing all of those things and replace it with one small intention: I’m going to get in the Vortex. I’m going to get inside my Vibrational Reality where all things will unfold for me with the precision and the detail and the satisfaction that only the Source within me would know.”

When you ask, it is instantly given. All that you want is waiting for you in a sort of holding bay, calling you: A Vortex containing everything you desire. This ‘Vibrational Reality’ is more real than the reality you can perceive with your five senses. It truly is the Heaven within many religions talk about. And feeling good is the key card to get access in there. Feeling good is our only ‘work’. Feeling good (1) feels good and (2) manifests our every desire. So it’s good in every way.

The secret to life is Get happy or Feel good. It really is that simple. This sums up volumes of spiritual literature. And we’ve heard it in songs, in movies, from teachers and friends… we’ve even seen it in Disney cartoons… we hear it again and again and again.

Do we really believe that life can be that easy, that effortless, that fun?!

“And we say the only thing that keeps you from being in the Vortex is that you are offering thought that holds you apart from it. You’ve got to talk about what’s in the Vortex. You’ve got to make what’s familiar to you the same as what’s in the Vortex. You’ve got to talk about what you want and why you want it. You have to pretend it as if it is. You have to find a feeling place of what you want and when you do- you’ll be in the Vortex.” Abraham, San Diego Jan 2009

What could be stopping us from getting in the Vortex? Perhaps it is thoughts like “It can’t be that easy”? Because if we really knew life was this simple surely we would put every effort into asking the question “how am I going to feel better in this moment?”- and then follow through with it. We would realise that our priority is to feel good.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all else shall be added to you” The Bible

Seeking manifestations to get happy is back-to-front thinking. The manifestations or ’stuff’ are the side effect; indicators to show you how you are doing in attitude. And so you get happy for the sake of getting happy not to get stuff or change conditions. You seek the good-feeling place firstly and then everything else is added to you, as a by- product. This is a ‘missing link’ in the art of manifestation. We don’t ‘manifest’ as in the verb, lasooing things toward us. We get happy and manifestation happens automatically. We get happy and we get into the Vortex where we meet with our manifestations.

“We don’t want this conversation to be about how you can get that improved condition- we want this conversation to be about how you can get into the Vortex where you will rendezvous with all of those conditions that you seek. Because you’ve got control over getting into the Vortex, where you don’t have control over the condition. So if you exercise your control to get into the Vortex- now Law of Attraction, who is compiling all co-operative components, will do its work, you see. You’ve just got to get in the Vortex.” Abraham, Hay House teleconference

This NOW moment is what it is. So you’re choice is to have a good time in it or not, and the choice you make will not only transform your enjoyment of the moment but will create future moments more to your liking. Our only control is to feel better or to feel worse. And that’s enough!

“The fastest way to someone getting in the Vortex is making peace with where they are” Abraham

Your creations are completed. Source or God has done It’s part. There’s nothing for you to do except find any way you can to get happy and thus be swept into the Vortex where everything you want is waiting for you.

“One of the things people are afraid of- they’re afraid that if they start admitting that there are things about where they are that they like, the Universe will say: ‘oh never mind, she’s satisfied now- leave her there’. Nothing like that will happen because your Vibrational Escrow is full of all the new stuff calling you and satisfaction with where you are frees you up to go to that new stuff” Abraham

Many ways of looking at What Is

“Looking for the good where you are puts you in the place of allowing the good that is in your Vibrational Escrow” Abraham

You are where you are right now. And there are many ways to look at where you are. In other words, you can be happy or unhappy with this moment regardless of what is going on. Sometimes we may think we haven’t got a choice- but there are always many, many interpretations of our current reality to choose from. Changing our story about our current reality is a way of accepting it. And with consistent practice you will do this.

All thinking- all good

“When you sow in tears, you will reap in joy” The Bible

I used to believe that if you think happy thoughts, you are creating a happy life and vice versa (with negative thoughts). But the truth is- when you think about what you don’t want, the desire for its opposite erupts and so you are also creating what you do want. It’s a win-win situation.

The challenges of life create an abundant harvest. And so does the joy. We can sow in tears or sow in joy- it’s all good. So a lifetime of negative thinking will create huge, wonderful possibilities- but then you have to find a way to let in. To reap the rewards of our life’s journey we must find a way to feel good- because asking is only the first step of creation. Allowing, or feeling good, is the other step. But there is no rush to do this.

If a negative thought comes up, welcome it. Why is it here? For one thing, it is adding to the huge storehouse of wonderful things which is waiting with your name on it (Abraham calls this your Vibrational Escrow). All thoughts are to be welcomed and embraced as they are indicators. All thoughts are gifts.

All thoughts have a loving message for you

There is only a stream of well being. There is no right or wrong- only right. There is only good. The Universe- everything in the entire Universe physical and non-physical- is on your side. And everything around you- including your thoughts- are merely kindly indicators to show you how you are doing and to inspire joyful changes in attitude.

“I see thoughts as the beloved- not as someone to be sent away” Byron Katie

Just as critical comments from others are a gift to show you where you may want to make mental changes- so it is with our own negative chatter in our minds. Rather than going into defence every time we hear something we don’t like from another or in our minds (our own ‘inner talk’)- we can accept it and even embrace it. Then, as the teacher Byron Katie says, “the thought will let go of you”. It is our defending that causes the pain and ’sticks’ us to the negativity; by Law of Attraction, we attract more of what we defend against- what we resist, persists. (Byron Katie has a powerful and simple technique for accepting where you are called The Work. For more information please visit www.emergingjourneys.com/features.php?fid=20)

“If you’re dissatisfied with What Is it can’t come. So you have to make the best of where you are or you can’t move toward what you want- it’s vibrational law” Abraham

When we realise that ‘It’s all good’, then there’s nothing to push against: No person, situation or even thought. Everything- including our every thought- is a teacher. We can accept this- or we can kick and scream. We always have a choice- and both choices are ok (although one feels a lot better) Everything that is happening to you is nothing but a mirror of your attitudes. And this reflection is a gift, inspiring transformation. Make peace with where you are.

“Hear this, it’s the most powerful thing that we’ve said to you ever: Until you have made peace with where you are you cannot float downstream. Until where you are even in the absence of everything you want is alright with you, you cannot turn in the direction of what you want.” Abraham

You are where you are… and all is well

A challenge that sometimes comes up for people who study the Law of Attraction is to try to desperately ‘manifest’ to escape the present moment and be somewhere else. Fighting with What Is is painful and a waste of your powerful now, where all of your power is. Yes, we want to let go and go with the flow, but before we can let go we need to accept that we are holding on; and then our grip automatically loosens.

Accept where you are (and then you can begin telling your new story)

Resisting reality is a horrible place to be. I used to flail about in attempt to make my unwanted current reality (or negative thoughts about my current reality) go away and what I want immediately appear in its place. Of course when I stopped my tantrum, reality would still be there just the same. What I was doing, in effect, was stamping my feet and demanding that the Universe would bring me the reality I wanted. Knowing about the Law of Attraction only made me resist even more- out of fear of what my negative thoughts may do. And so more negative thoughts came at me. It became an addictive habit. Without accepting my reality, this ‘pushing against’ vibration was nailing my feet to floor and seemingly keeping me stuck.

Carl Jung said “What you resist, persists”. So instead of pushing against, we can actually accept and embrace whatever it is. So embrace your body however it is, embrace your finances however they are. Your body is the way it should be right now- because it is. Your finances are just as they should be right now, because they are. If you’re overweight, be willing to be overweight. What choice do you have? Hating being fat will not change the fact that you are fat right now- because you are where you are. Once you accept it and love it and laugh about it- off you go and you are then freed up to begin to tell your new story.

Accepting where you are means letting go of your battle with reality; which means letting go of your battle with your thoughts about reality. Embrace everything, including each and every thought.

“Thoughts are friends; they’re not enemies. I would meet them at the door with open arms- and I do. Because until I do, they just keep knocking- and rightfully so. They’re the key to my heart. Why would I close the door on them?” Byron Katie

Everything- including the thoughts that you are attracting- are indicators of your vibration. And so everything is a gift to lovingly show you what your vibration is on each and every subject.

Could What Is be Ok?

“Nothing’s good or bad but thinking makes it so.” William Shakespeare

Some people would feel wonderful having a million in their bank. For others, who are perhaps used to having hundreds of millions, this reality would inspire unhappy feelings. Some would be delighted with a size 16 if they had been a size 20 all their life and others would feel uncomfortable being a 12. It’s all relative. What Is is a perception. So accepting What Is is not just about accepting a static truth but about playing with our perception and looking for the positive aspects of the moment.

“Within every particle of this Universe is that which is wanted and the lack of it” Abraham

Looking for the positive aspects of your now is a wonderful process. As you are reading this you are sitting comfortably, in a warm room, all is well. What is your perception making of this perfection? You could be happy or sad. What Is does not have to instantly change for you to feel good and will not. However you can change your attitude about What Is. And then What Is will change.

“Seek not to change the world, but to change your mind about the world.” A Course in Miracles

God sees this moment as perfect. With a little practice, so can you.

The idea of creating our own reality can be empowering yet daunting. Empowering, because it allows us to realise that we are not powerless beings buffeted about by a random Universe, but daunting because we may think we have to do it all ourselves. But we don’t. We are not alone in all of this.

We are co-creators of our reality

We co-create our reality with the divine. Whether you pray directly to God, the archangels, Buddha or Krishna or Jesus or one of the many other myriad of non-physical helpers (and extensions of God), you are tapping into the vast stream of Well-being that flows through the Universe. Your role in creation is to believe and expect (the asking comes automatically) and then you will receive. It is the Divine’s job to orchestrate what you want and to answer your prayers. It is a collaboration.

Prayer and the Law of Attraction

“What ever things you so desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them” Jesus, The Bible

Jesus was a master of the Law of Attraction- and the power of prayer- and I will be using his wisdom throughout this article. His quote above says it all: Ask for what you want, believe that you will achieve it and then what you want will come to you.

Many people ask from a negative attitude and stay there- and this is exactly what Jesus was correcting; we must ask and then move into an expectation of a solution for the prayer to ‘work’.

Why do some prayers get answered and others not?

“When you ask, it is given. It is always given. It is given every time. No exceptions.” Abraham

All prayers are answered immediately- the question is: ‘are we allowing in the answer?’ God never fails to answer our asking- but it is for us to do our work and match the vibration of the solution.

If you ask and believe that you will be answered, you will be. It is the difference between asking or praying from a state of hope and expectation- or from doubt and fear. You need to ask and then get out of the way in trust, letting the Universe work on the solution.

There are no limits

“All things are possible to him who believes” Jesus, The Bible

All things are possible. The key is ‘to him who believes’. You have to do your part by working your thoughts into an expectation that your prayers will be answered- and they will, as Abraham says ‘every time, no exceptions’.

There are absolutely no limits!

“Whoever shall say to this mountain, ‘be removed, and be cast into the sea’; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe those things which he says shall come to pass; he shall have whatever he says” Jesus, The Bible

It was true over two thousand years ago and it is true today. It has always been true. With faith you can accomplish anything.

“If this life experience has inspired the desire within you, this life experience has the where with all to fulfil it down to the very last detail… Anything that you can imagine is yours to be or do or have” Abraham

Let go and let God

Once you’ve asked- and you are asking or praying every time you have a desire- you can release the request and focus on something else entirely, trusting that the Universe is working on the solution. Imagine the vastness of the pure, positive, Universal energy- infinitely more powerful than the sun; it is this energy that creates worlds that flows through you.

Practice, Practice, Practice

“Ask, and it shall be given to you” Jesus, The Bible

This philosophy sounds simple- and it is. But believing in it takes practice. Just as you could spend a lifetime reading thousands of books or attending seminars with different opinions on how to ride a bike and still not be able to ride a bike- it is the same with reading spiritual books about the Law of Attraction or spirituality. You learn how to ride a bike by getting on the bike; you change your life by applying the processes. If you are anything like me- you may have shelves full of spiritual books and you may have listened to dozens of motivational speakers. Where have they got you?

“The Kingdom of Heaven is within you” Jesus, The Bible

Now is the time to do it. You know the truth. Now it’s about practice, practice, practice. The good news is it’s a great-feeling practice- in fact it must feel great as you do practice for it to work.

“If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed… nothing shall be impossible unto you” Jesus, The Bible

Stop reading and go for it!

Telling a new story requires moment-by-moment practice. Like all new habits, initially it can seem difficult as it is unknown territory; sometimes we fall down but we get up and keep on going. After a short while, telling a new story will be automatic. You will just do it.

If you are finding telling your new story challenging- remember this is a story too and you could instead say: Telling a better story may have been hard but now it’s becoming easier. I am doing so well. Telling a new story is becoming easier and easier on all subjects of my life. I easily find new ways to feel good and to speak and think a new, good feeling story about my life. My mind easily fills with good-feeling thoughts. It is becoming easier and easier to tell a new, good-feeling story.

My body image

“Do you know that your body is the temple of the living God which is in you? Glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians, The Bible

Loving our physical body is essential to a good-feeling life. In this image-conscious world, it is perhaps more important than ever before. Not because physical appearance is the be-all-and-end-all, but because a low opinion of our physicality can get in the way and take up a lot of our time- time which could be spent living our best life.

My body is good-feeling and beautiful. I love the way my body moves and I love the way my body looks. I radiate well-being and I feel so good. I am attractive and magnetic to all good. I love and appreciate my beautiful body.

Like romantic relationships (which I explored briefly in my last article), body image is a big subject. I want to make a few suggestions which may inspire you to tell your story in a different way.

Some of us may have been teased at school and became self conscious- or compared our physical bodies as ‘less than’ others. Whatever started us telling a critical story is irrelevant. What is important is that we make an effort to change it.

Every time you felt unattractive, you sent out a prayer for a better-looking, better-feeling body. The horrible feeling you get when you berate yourself in the mirror is not because there is anything wrong with your body- quite the opposite. It is because in your self-condemnation you are keeping yourself apart from the dream body you want. And your wonderful guidance, in the form of negative emotion, is telling you that. Change the thoughts; change your story to one of self-appreciation and the feeling will change- which means the body will follow suit and change also.

Your work

When you ask, it is given instantly. So this good feeling, good looking new body is there for you. Your work- your only work- is to conjure a story that will make you feel better and so let this body in.

You may be thinking that ’so what if I feel better- I’ll still have a body I’m not happy with’- but that is not the way life unfolds. Your good-feeling will be matched by the body you want.

You might think ‘I’ve hated my body for so long- what’s the use? How can I change my story now?’ If every time you criticised yourself a prayer was emitted, then all that you want has been becoming more and more wonderful. In other words, the longer your negative story has been going on the more you have asked and the more wonderful the manifestation will be but you have to line up. Isn’t that good to know? It’s a win-win situation. However- to allow the new body in you have to line up- meaning you have to make an effort to feel better about it in the now. And you do this by telling a new story.

I can begin to be a little more hopeful. I can begin to imagine myself walking down the street, head held high, confident and happy and attractive.

Whenever you can- tell a story that makes you feel attractive. Practice your new story every time you walk, head held high. Ignore other people’s reactions and keep on going. If you see other attractive people don’t negatively compare yourself - appreciate them as an inspiration; a gift via Law of Attraction to show you that you are on the right path. Try to feel good and attractive regardless of how you judge yourself to look (the reason a physical makeover really works is because it influences self-confidence); the Universe is responding to your thoughts and feelings, not your current and temporary ‘reality’. Give your mind a makeover by telling a new story and your body will follow suit. It is law!

Another thing

Please remember that the process of telling a new story is firstly for the enjoyment of it. If you are working hard at it and not feeling good you are missing the point. The manifestations- that is the details of your new story you want to make real- are the inevitable side-effect of this good-feeling exercise. So tell your new story to feel good- tell it so often that you don’t even care about whether you get the manifestation. And then the manifestation will happen- it has to be!

Please see my previous series ‘Relax, release and let go’ for suggestions on how to let go in faith and belief. For more ideas on body image, read my article ‘Feeling good about your physical body’.

Once you have identified an old story, you want to immediately say ‘now I know what it is I don’t want- what is it that I do want?’ and begin telling your new story.

Many people talk endlessly about what they don’t want, seemingly unaware of how this is blocking their good from coming to them. On the other side of what we don’t want is what we do want- and it is here that our practice begins. In every moment, we have the choice of choosing a thought that feels a little better from where we are now.

When you experience anything unwanted, the possibility of what you desire is immediately created. And so any time at all spent dwelling on the unwanted experience is time spent holding you apart from what you want. And the negative emotion you feel is your indicator of this.

So what’s your new story?

My romantic relationship

Finding someone to spend your life with is a major part of many people’s lives. The simple truth is that finding our partner has nothing to do with our looks, body size, age or finances. It is the story we tell ourselves that defines our lives, including our romantic relationship. So let’s begin.

There’s someone out there who’s looking for someone just like me and the Universe brings us together easily and effortlessly and in perfect time.

In all of the moments that you felt lonely or met the ‘wrong’ person you were creating a possible future of exactly what you do want. However, telling the story in the negative way is what is preventing you realising this and meeting your dream partner. So forget how long you may have been alone or in an unpleasant relationship- and focus on the wonderful relationship that is coming.

I easily meet the most spectacular partner and we adore one another and enjoy this wonderful life together.

Are you talking predominantly about what your partner looks/feels like and what qualities he has? Are you talking mostly about your new lifestyle with your partner in it; where you are going to live, your new jobs, possibly children or pets, your day-to-day life? Are you talking about all of the fantastic relationships out there and the knowing that your partner is on his way? If you’re not- it is time to begin telling a new story.

Example: I love the amazing qualities that I have to share with my partner and I love the way we compliment each another. I love how he feels when I hold him. I love the way he smiles. I love how similar we are and all the synchronicities in our lives. I love how I can totally be myself with him. I love how open and loving he is. I love how we bring the best out of each other… etc (you can go into more specifics)

When you wake up, you can imagine your partner is in the shower or getting ready to work. You can luxuriate in bed imagining that breakfast is being prepared and about to be served and enjoyed. You can imagine he is off to work (if he goes out to work) leaving you to bask. This makes for a much better morning alternative to ‘here I am, on my own again…’ With practice, your imaginings will feel so good you won’t miss not having a partner and at this point the virtual reality will become your reality.

As you move about your day, you can conjure images of your partner in the same way as if you were actually with him. As you wonder through the streets on a lunch break, you can look for qualities you may like in your partner- who is on his way:

If you walk past someone with perfect partner qualities don’t go into thoughts like ‘that guy will never like me’ or ‘why can’t I ever meet someone like that?!’ Instead, tell a new story: That’s more like it! There’s the kind of man I’d like to date. There’s someone to take into my visualisation/virtual reality process. Seeing him means I must be coming more into alignment. Seeing him must mean that I’m nearly there in meeting my wonderful boyfriend. I must be aligning with what I want now I’m beginning to see evidence of what I want. It’s wonderful that there’s so much variety in the world to get a feeling of what I want…

Your choice of story is the difference between whether you move towards what you want or turn around and go the opposite way.

Whenever you think about the subject of romantic relationships, your feelings will let you know if you are moving toward or away from the relationship that is waiting for you. As you go through your day, feel for the thought and constantly reach for thoughts that feel a little better.

A little reminder

These ideas are useless unless put into practice. Telling a new story is not something you do for ten minutes in the morning and then forget about it, thinking random thoughts for the rest of the day. It is a moment-by-moment process. Initially, you need discipline to get the momentum going but after a while it will become easier and increasingly more fun. Our minds are the most powerful tool we have and practicing using them in a way that serves us is the best thing we can do.

“Each and every component that makes up your life experience is drawn to you by the powerful Law of Attraction’s response to the thoughts you think and the story you tell about your life.” Abraham

Once you achieve a vibrational shift on a subject (i.e. a sustained feeling of relief) you have created a thought that is next time easier to find and return to. And on it goes. In other words- the more often you tell the new story of your life the easier it becomes to tell the new story. So keep on going!

You might think you can’t do it, and that every time you try, you revert back to the old story. But that is a story. You are finding it easier and easier to change. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve being in your old way of thinking- with consistent practice you can shift a lifetime habit in a relatively short time. I know- because I have changed my story on subject after subject.

“I can’t change- I’ve been telling this same old story for as long as I can remember” becomes I am willing to change. I know there must be people who have been where I am: Universe- bring me evidence of people who were once where I am, who have told a new story and have absolutely transformed their lives. They did it and I know I can do it.

It may shock you when you discover some of the negative stories you have been telling; when you see areas of your life that ‘aren’t working’ you will instantly know why. It is always the same- your life reflects the story you are telling. Change your story and your life will change to mirror your new story. Yes, it really is this simple.

When you are deep into an old pattern of thought and feeling the negative emotion that accompanies it, it may be too difficult to suddenly start telling an incredible-feeling story. For example, when you are depressed about money issues it may be too much of a jump to talk about your amazing wealth. You will know by how this new thought feels. If you can’t quite make the leap, go for something else: That successful guy was once where I am and look at him now… She was once single and now she’s with her dream partner etc… Keep going until you feel relief and keep going whether it’s self-talk, talk out-loud or writing.

In more uncomfortable moments, attempting the good-feeling story may put you into a battle with the old story and you won’t feel good. Feelings are your guidance to how you are doing. In these moments, it may feel better to do something else- go out with friends, exercise, watch uplifting television programmes, go to sleep… anything to distract yourself. When you are feeling better, begin to tell the new story.

The longer you continue with telling the new story the more you will establish this habit. So stay in the good feeling place and keep going. Don’t just try this process for one day and then give up. Just as a river creates a path of easiest flow down a mountain (carving out a canyon), your new thoughts will carve a path of easiest flow to more easily return to. The solution to addiction to old thoughts is to create new thought habits that feel good and before long this will be your new habit, on all subjects. The physical evidence to match your story will show up and it will become easier to believe, and on the cycle goes.

And there’s more good news: with the flow of this ‘river’ of thoughts on your side (there is only a stream of well-being)- you will create this new thought habit quickly.

Yes, it takes a consistent effort but it is enjoyable to tell the new story. When you have spare moments, rather than letting your mind idly wonder over ‘what is’ you can be visualising amazing things happening to you; a luxury holiday, you in an amazing outfit etc, having a great time with your soulmate.

Everything always works out for me

You can do it. Others have done it and are doing it and I know you can do it too.

Our life is how it is because of the story we tell. Whatever is happening to us- the fulfilling relationships (or lack of them), our bank account, the way we look and feel- everything- is about the story we are thinking and speaking (by ’story’ I mean our thoughts and beliefs; the stream of opinions and attitudes that make up our internal dialogue each and every day).

Some people think that telling things the way you want them to be is like telling a lie or somehow being unreal. But when you ask, it is instantly given- and telling a new story is about tapping into this greater reality of what you want, rather than focusing on the temporary reality of what you don’t want.

Your new story doesn’t have to be something you have lived before- it is whatever you want and whatever feels good.

“I don’t like working for controlling people” becomes: I always work with wonderful people. My workplace is filled with beautiful, interesting people. I love my job. I love the atmosphere of my work- it is full of such variety of people living their lives and finding out new ways to feel good. Everyone respects me. I am always surrounded by good-feeling people who allow me to be as I am…

Millionaires who came from poverty learnt to ignore reality and tell a different story. You often hear well-known actors or singers saying that they imagined themselves on stage or screen from an early age- repeating this story over and over; they spent more time in the success story than in the more visible ‘reality’ story around them.

“I feel plain and unattractive” becomes: I am abundant, dressed well, feeling good, feeling happy, speaking to happy people and being happy myself. I radiate attractiveness. People notice me and are interested in me. I am youthful, beautiful and full of life. Beautiful and interesting new people are constantly coming in into my life and are drawn to me like a magnet…

Changing your story is a profound yet simple enough concept- but it is easy to see why many people’s stories don’t change very much. Early on we have experiences and start observing them. We come to believe that ‘this is the way it is’. As we observe what we believe, we create more situations like that. In other words, we prove ourselves right. As this continues, our beliefs get stronger. We are right but are we happy? We create our own reality and we can make anything true for us by giving it our attention.

The faces and places may change- but the essence stays the same. No longer can you blame ‘that particular partner’ or ‘that particular boss’ or even ‘that particular town’ when you realize that you have experienced this situation before, with you being the common denominator in each case. We are the creators of our reality and it is easier to lazily observe your life the way it is and create the same reality, again and again.

As I’ve said, those who have moved beyond their humble beginnings are more focused on what’s coming than what is or what has been. They have made the effort to tell a new, better-feeling story. This is the secret to those true-life rags-to-riches tales we hear about.

“When am I going to meet my soulmate?” becomes I love my partner. He is a perfect reflection of me. He is beautiful and charismatic and funny and sweet and romantic. He deeply respects me and adores me. It’s amazing how easy it was for the Universe to bring us together. It is wonderful how perfect we are for one another. I love the way he feels. I love the way he smells. I love the brightness and connection in his eyes. I love him and he loves me. He adores me… he really does love me and this appreciation from one to another is so good-feeling…

How do we break the cycle and improve our lives?

It is all about practicing the new story. Many people read a new idea in an article or book and say ‘that’s fantastic’ and then just go back to their old way of doing things. And this is not surprising- we may have been telling that old story for a long time and it has built up quite a momentum (plus a lot of supporting evidence). The new story needs to be practiced too- and it makes sense this takes a little time and effort. You may go a little forward and then revert back to your old story and that’s ok. Just keep going with your intention to tell a better feeling story. Spend a little time every day practicing your story- it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to fell a little better. Write it down, close your eyes and spend a few minutes seeing yourself living the way you’d like, record it and play it back to yourself over and over until it becomes an easy story to tell. The new, better feeling version has behind it the support of the Universe- so change will be swift. A little willingness to tell a new story will allow the Universe to get to work assisting you with evidence, which will feed into encouraging your new, good-feeling story.

“If you will let your dominant intention be to revise and improve the content of the story you tell every day of your life, it is our absolute promise to you that your life will become that ever-improving story. For by the powerful Law of Attraction, it must be!” Abraham

For us to truly let go and begin relinquishing our control, we must have trust in a power beyond ourselves. This is not to deny our own power- for this power is part of us; it is our higher self. Some call this energy guardian angel- others speak of spirit guides. Some trust in the saints or the ascended masters. How we choose to communicate with this energy is not important; but to know it exists is vital for us to let go. Otherwise we may fear that our life will fall apart with no one running it. You are loved and you are constantly guided; letting go allows you to get in touch with this intuition; your gut feeling. Letting go lets in the assistance- because there is a whole host of Universal forces to help you out in life. And it is in your relaxing, releasing and letting go that you allow this help in.

For those of us who are very logical or analytical or strong-willed, I suggest asking more often for help through prayer. Prayer is simply handing you wants and desires over to the Divine, be it relationships, prosperity of all kinds or healing. It is ok to ask for what you want- You are not alone and you do not have to struggle alone. Ask- and then let go knowing that ‘it is done’. Ask and let go. Ask and then relax and release

I let go. I give up the struggle. I surrender. I allow. I trust that Life in on my side and everything is working out for me. I let go knowing that ‘it is done’.

When I realised that I didn’t have to run life all on my own, a huge weight dropped off me. My taking responsibility for everyone and everything (which of course was not working) fell away, only to be replaced by a grounding sense of peace and trust. Wonderful solutions appeared in my life in ways I had previously not conceived of. The vastness of the Universe far exceeds my limited thinking and it is reassuring to know this! This is how I live my life now. Constantly relaxing, releasing and letting go; less controlling and less trying to figure things out. Often, what I once perceived as a problem is revealed to be a blessing in disguise. Life is truly amazing- and so simple- when you get out of the way and allow it to be.

I know the Universe is sorting everything out for me. I know that life is on my side. I know that everything is always working out for me.

So how do we let go? For many of us who have made struggle a part of our lives, letting go can be a new skill to practice. The first step is to be willing to let go. Battling with thoughts will get us nowhere- and we will simply activate these thoughts even more so. You cannot erase a thought by wrestling it to the ground. A gently willingness to release, thanking our thoughts for sharing with us and then allowing them to drift away is what we can do to lovingly let them go.

I am willing to release. This too shall pass. I am willing to let go and go with the flow of Life. I am willing to relax into a better feeling. I am willing to release and let go.

Listening to music, doing exercise or dancing (which increases breath flow- relaxing us and allowing our cells to be energised) are all ways we can relax, release and let go. Daily meditation is the best technique I know of to encourage a calm, allowing mind (see my previous articles on meditation). Spending time with uplifting friends or doing anything that feels good and soothes us are other ways to uplift and distract us into our feeling of relaxation. Once we have got ourselves out of the way, Life can now work on a solution.

I relax, release and let go.

Finally- and most importantly- be willing to have patience with yourself and with Life. Letting go takes everyday practice- so give Life the chance to respond. Be kind to yourself and be sure to be light and easy about it. I remember reading that in the account of Jesus, there were three full days between his crucifixion and the resurrection. Whether this is real or metaphor is irrelevant- the point being that the ‘happy outcome’ did not happen immediately. When experiencing problems, allow time for a solution to appear. Do whatever it takes in the interim to relax, release, let go and trust. I assure you that a solution will be there- often in a surprising way that you hadn’t even thought of. And in this solution, life will be even better than it has been and your faith will have increased in the process.