I’m sure we all know that feeling in the pit of our stomach when we haven’t been called back by a person we are involved with romantically. Or the similar feeling that comes when you wonder where he or she is and whether they are being intimate with someone else.
We have no control in another’s experience and so it is not surprising that we feel powerless in these circumstances. And the feeling is not because we are right about what they are or aren’t doing or why. It is because who we really are, our Source energy, would never see him or her as ‘less than’. And when we do, no matter how justified we may be or how many others agree with us- we feel awful. We have disconnected from who we are and from our own good.
It has been said that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The stakes are simply too high to do this to ourselves anymore! In other words, it is in our best interests to always focus on things that feel good no matter what ‘they’ are doing.
Now this may appear strange- and certainly contrary to all those relationship books and articles out there determined to categorize people and label many of them ‘bad’. Whether our assumptions are right or wrong is not the point. The question that you may want to ask yourself is: “Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?”
Rather than being a door mat, you will come into your own power and it will astound you. I know that feeling of thinking we have been ‘made a fool of’ or that we have being rejected. It is truly horrible and can reactivate old thoughts of low self worth. But when I look for my own positive aspects or anything else that makes me feel good- I begin to get my power back.
We are human- and it is probably going to happen that we will go in and out of moments of rage and anger and blame, and that is alright. In fact, this can be an essential step to reclaiming our power.
I remember Louise Hay suggesting that jealousy was just another form of insecurity; not feeling good enough about ourselves. And she’s right. If we were to feel fabulous and gorgeous and an absolute catch, then we wouldn’t feel jealous. After all, if any one deceived us we would then instantly know that it had nothing to do with us anyway. And even the initial feeling of them being a fool for not recognizing our absolute amazingness is a more fun and far higher feeling than one of being worthless. So perhaps it is time to truly begin to realise how fantastic you are.
A final point is that when someone leaves our experience abruptly, it often means they are nowhere near a match to our desires. In other words, the Universe is doing us a favour and saving us from the potential unpleasantness of being with a mismatched lover.
Suggestions of positive aspects about you
I’m a really great person. I’m very attractive and interesting. I have a great smile. I have sparkling eyes. I’m absolutely gorgeous. I’m great fun to be with and a real catch. How fortunate for someone to attract me and spend time with me. How wonderful for them to enjoy my company! I have nothing to worry about when it comes to a partner. I do not have to worry or fuss or adapt myself to fit into someone else’s picture of what they want. There’s only one me and the perfect person for me will know this instantly. There are no hoops to jump through or ways to fix myself to impress-I just have to be myself. And I love being me. How amazing that I’m me! How fantastic that this opportunity has allowed me to realise more clearly what I want.
If you are not feeling better after going through your positive aspects, reach for any better thoughts about anything to distract yourself into a better feeling place. Take a gym class, spend time with uplifting friends, read something uplifting, pamper yourself, get a makeover- all the while keeping a lookout for your own positive aspects. This is a great opportunity to ‘springboard’ from the experience into something truly wonderful. It may take a few days, it may take a few weeks. Be willing to feel a little better and Life will assist you. I know- I have been there and this process works.
In this pain, you have asked for your perfect relationship and it is there waiting for you. It is closer to you than ever before. As you move into your power, you will feel appreciative of the lover who seemingly caused you so much pain.
And in this good feeling, the lover you have always wanted and who has always wanted you will rendezvous with you in the perfect time.